Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize