He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
jump out the window naked night went bad
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