She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Enjoy the penises
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
