Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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