He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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