what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Randomize
