The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
