she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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