Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
