nut hugger
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
