Christians are straight up FREAKS
youre lurking in front of me
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
