so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
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Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
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It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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