Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
