forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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