pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
