i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
