For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
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You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
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Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
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