WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
