yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
