i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
