Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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