'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
