ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
