Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I need moral support for this bender
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
