Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
