Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
whose parrot is this?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize