i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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