Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
vagina is talking i cant
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
