Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
