he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize