Got a toothbrush?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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