I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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