and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
