I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
