I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Sorry about my life...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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