yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Randomize
