I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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