i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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