remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
