i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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