my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am mentally ready for anal.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
