He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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