Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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