these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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