Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
