Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
