turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize