I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
