So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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