May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize