Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
