I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
