I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Buhtt sex?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
