I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
