Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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