i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
