oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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