I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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