I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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